wasnt up to my standard. $27.

dint really have lunch today.. head giddy.. was hungry from 9am.. then until 4pm, I finally HAVE to eat something, tio gastric again.. argh! cant even walk right.. have to slouch abit even then still pain.. hate it everytime when I have gastric.. so mafan. ==" ended up, I binge on.. and fell asleep on the couch until 9pm then I woke up, HAVE to eat dinner.. and I feel like puking now.. thinking my tummy aint digesting properly.. =="

yay! tml I get to eat BANANAS!! yummy~ ^^ everytime eat banana / papaya for sure go toilet wan.. lols.. but BANANAS are yummy~! I can make it my breakfast, lunch and dinner if I could.. lolx!

told baba abt my secret.. I'm glad that he dint see me in a differ light, instead he advice me.. lol usually when I tell people abt it, they will shun or avoid talking to me.. I dunno what will happen in the future but baba made me to promise him something.. I dunno whether I could keep that promise or not, I dint agree..

my parents now know that I have a god-brother.. which was since last 3years ago.. lolx.. yeah. till now we still haven meet each other.. he was hoping to see me attend his 21st bday party, but my parents wont allow.. they say it's not that the party or the timing, is what if something happen, where and who should they find.. yah. I understand, I'm trying to talk terms with my parents so they will understand from MY point of view.. so I sat down in their room and start talking.. I made it clear to them that I want to ask permission cause I respect them.. I can easily said it was for project work and zao to his party.. but I dint. I hate it that everytime I had to lie to them to go out.. there's nothing wrong with my friends and there's nothing wrong for me to meet up with my outside friends..

my dad actually asked me in a confronted manner, which I'm scared of but I managed to talk nicely with him.. eventually, he said it will be best if you could stop all this and concerntrate on your studies since it's your final year.. I agree, that's y I'm trying my best not to slack now but it's hard. =X lolx.. so I'm guessing they know abt me n Jeffrey already.. papa said, that I'm the most sociable among my sisters.. and asked me what's my plan for my future.. then mama said that I should go University and get a degree then get a job.. but I told them that I wanted to come out to work first, make some money, pay off my own tution loan fee ( which I know it's not cheap ), take my time to decide which degree that I really want to do because I dont want to regret next time doing something I dont like.. eventually I did consider of getting a degree.. not that I dont want, is I MUST find a passion and doing it.. forcing myself to study like this 3years of poly is making me go crazy and I'm really not happy doing it.. I find that no point doing something I dont like and not happy, in the end, I wont gain anything but a paper.

we ended the conversation with some random stuff.. papa mama wanted to express so many of their thoughts to me regarding us, their children.. and I have to defend for my sisters.. I dint got angry or pekchek, infact I'm very happy that they willing to tell me what's on their mind.. so at least we could work somethings out..

part of the reason why I dont want to go into University now is because my sister is enrolling into University at the same time as I could.. and I know that school fees aint that cheap when it comes to tertiary education since we're not singaporeans.. so I rather back off, let my sister study.. like that when I'm earning the money, I could help papa to ease some burden off too.. not much, but at least something..

mama papa said I've changed. yeah. I do agree that I've changed. I become more.. emo than my usual emo self last time.. I enjoy experiencing pain, which people find me pervertic.. who would like to press their own blueblack? I do. lol.